Who Gets The Kids?
Choosing a guardian for young children is almost always the most difficult estate planning decision parents face. If you are a parent, imagining someone else raising your children is unsettling. Worse, imagining a scenario in which your children must adapt to the loss of their parents in addition to an entirely new living situation is gut-wrenching. Though parents often agonize over this daunting decision, it is important to keep in mind that a probate court will make this decision for you if you do not express your wishes in your will or other written document before you pass away. While there is no perfect formula for selecting a guardian for your children, below are a few items for consideration:
Choose a friend or family member with shared values who will likely apply these same principles to raising your children.
Consider the guardian’s age, health, and general capacity to raise your children until adulthood.
Weigh the guardian’s financial stability. The guardian may manage your children’s inherited assets until they reach adulthood. Alternatively, parents may choose to name a separate individual to manage their children’s financial assets if another person would be more qualified.
Keep in mind that this decision is personal to you, the parents, and the future you see for your children. The opinions of others may be helpful, but should not control your final decision.
Ask the person you select to serve as guardian in advance to make sure they understand and agree to the undertaking.
List backups in case things change down the road and your first choice guardian no longer has the capacity or desire to handle raising your children.
All parents want the best for their children, so the anxiety parents feel when selecting a guardian is understandable and expected. Rest assured, you are not alone in these feelings of hesitation. Expressing your wishes in writing after careful deliberation is the best way to ensure the future you want for your children.
To all the moms out there navigating a brand new normal and juggling emotions ranging from guilt and fear to joy and gratitude, we are in this together one day at a time. Wishing you all a very Happy Mother’s Day!
