We Need To Talk: Love, Loss & Planning

Effective estate planning does not end when you sign your will. Communicating and clarifying your wishes to loved ones is crucial to ensuring the smooth execution of your estate plan. A failure to communicate your plan to loved ones can lead to doubt, hurt feelings, and conflict during already tumultuous times.

We tend to hold preconceived notions that our inheritance is a representation of our standing in a deceased loved one’s life.  When we do not receive an anticipated gift, we not only feel slighted, but also uncertain about our entire relationship with the deceased individual.  Learning we did not mean as much to someone as we previously thought is a profoundly painful realization.  The finality of death can often exacerbate these negative feelings, manifesting in claims of unfairness and leading to lengthy and expensive legal battles. 

In reality, a non-existent or seemingly small bequest is not always representative of the strength and importance of a relationship.  In determining how their assets will be distributed after death, many testators prioritize gifts to charities, account for gifts made during life or specific medical, financial, or other needs of loved ones, or simply observe that a loved one is in a comfortable position and is not in need of a bequest. 

To preclude feelings of resentment and confusion, communicating your wishes to your loved ones is essential to your estate plan. By setting expectations and explaining your decisions to loved ones ahead of time, you will minimize the possibility of unwelcome surprises that only serve to worsen times of loss.

It is also important to communicate your wishes as to how your financial matters and medical care should be handled while you are alive to prevent doubt and controversy among loved ones.  Although you may create and sign powers of attorney and a living will, it is helpful to make your loved ones aware of what these documents say and how these matters should be carried out in advance.

When it comes to managing relationships with those with an interest in your estate plan, communication is the key to success.