With the holiday season upon us, especially this year, care and concern for family and loved ones takes on particular importance. Although contemplating what will happen to our assets should we lose capacity or pass away is not a typically joyful holiday pastime, thinking broadly about your main goals for your estate plan can provide a positive starting point. To help you get started, below are some of the most common estate planning objectives:

• Provide financially for oneself, spouse, children, or other friends and family members

• Minimize estate and income tax consequences

• Appoint a guardian for children

• Give to charities, churches, or other organizations

• Contribute to educational costs of loved ones

• Protect assets from creditors

• Appoint representatives in the event of incapacity

• Simplify the process of asset transfer for family members

• Give specific items of personal property to family or friends

• Avoid the probate process

Taking the time to consider what you wish to accomplish with your estate plan can make the process seem less daunting and provide a clear roadmap for developing your plan. For more information on ways to meet your estate planning objectives, take a look at this recent piece from Forbes.

We’ve all been there, ready to leave the party, but we don’t want to make a scene or get caught in a lengthy conversation that delays our departure. Instead of running through a series of goodbyes and excuses, we slip out the door, undetected by others until long after our escape. While the Irish Goodbye works in many social situations, it is typically not an effective end of life strategy.

Many people shy away from creating an estate plan to avoid the perceived stress of the estate planning process. Oftentimes, individuals assume their families will just “figure it out,” or assert that “everyone gets along” so “it will be fine.” Unfortunately, it is not usually that simple.

While you are alive, you may need someone to help with financial or medical decisions should you become incapacitated. Without any sort of plan to guide these decisions, loved ones can be left feeling unsure as to how to handle your affairs. When it comes time to handle your estate after your death, loved ones may find that ownership of assets is not straightforward, assets might be unknown or difficult to locate, outdated beneficiary designations may lead to doubt about how assets should be distributed, probate and associated attorney fees that could have been minimized may diminish the estate, and quite often, conflict does arise between family members that previously “got along.”

When we pass away, loved ones will notice, and if we have failed to establish an estate plan, loved ones could be left to sort out a confusing and frustrating situation. Although creating an estate plan can require you to make tough decisions, the process does not have to be painful. For those hesitating to create an estate plan over fear of the process, Forbes provides a quick and easy understanding of what an estate plan is, and why it is important to navigate this process. Committing to making decisions ahead of time is the best way to spare your loved ones the stress of handling your affairs without your guidance and to make sure that your final exit is graceful.

Effective estate planning does not end when you sign your will. Communicating and clarifying your wishes to loved ones is crucial to ensuring the smooth execution of your estate plan. A failure to communicate your plan to loved ones can lead to doubt, hurt feelings, and conflict during already tumultuous times.

We tend to hold preconceived notions that our inheritance is a representation of our standing in a deceased loved one’s life.  When we do not receive an anticipated gift, we not only feel slighted, but also uncertain about our entire relationship with the deceased individual.  Learning we did not mean as much to someone as we previously thought is a profoundly painful realization.  The finality of death can often exacerbate these negative feelings, manifesting in claims of unfairness and leading to lengthy and expensive legal battles. 

In reality, a non-existent or seemingly small bequest is not always representative of the strength and importance of a relationship.  In determining how their assets will be distributed after death, many testators prioritize gifts to charities, account for gifts made during life or specific medical, financial, or other needs of loved ones, or simply observe that a loved one is in a comfortable position and is not in need of a bequest. 

To preclude feelings of resentment and confusion, communicating your wishes to your loved ones is essential to your estate plan. By setting expectations and explaining your decisions to loved ones ahead of time, you will minimize the possibility of unwelcome surprises that only serve to worsen times of loss.

It is also important to communicate your wishes as to how your financial matters and medical care should be handled while you are alive to prevent doubt and controversy among loved ones.  Although you may create and sign powers of attorney and a living will, it is helpful to make your loved ones aware of what these documents say and how these matters should be carried out in advance.

When it comes to managing relationships with those with an interest in your estate plan, communication is the key to success.

Wondering what to give your loved ones this holiday season? An estate plan is the gift that keeps on giving! Planning provides direction and clarity to your loved ones both while you are alive and after you pass away. Though planning can seem stressful, by failing to plan, we unfairly pass this stress onto loved ones who are left to make difficult decisions for us. Estate planning really does not have to be painful. Often, the hardest part is getting started. To help out, NerdWallet provides 7 simple steps to getting started with your estate plan:

1. Take inventory of your tangible and intangible assets.

2. Contemplate how you would like to utilize your assets and estate plan to protect your family.

3. Select individuals to manage your personal and medical decisions should you become incapacitated.

4. Check beneficiary designations on insurance policies as well as retirement, investment, and other accounts.

5. Understand how and if estate taxes may apply to your situation.

6. Consider hiring a professional to assist with your plan.

7. Plan for the present, but expect to revise in the future.

Though joy and estate planning are unlikely synonyms, the holidays are the perfect time to think about protecting and honoring our loved ones. Best wishes for a safe and happy Thanksgiving!